It’s not over any real concern on my part but as I age I often wonder how much time do I have left and what is it I want to accomplish before that final breath leaves my body.
You see like much of the citizenry here I am over 60 years old.
I read the average lifespan of an American citizen is 77 years old that surprises me.
When I think of my parents ages when they passed on to wherever they went they were both 67 years old just a few years older than I am currently and I get a twinge in my gut thinking that isn’t very far off.
If I truly do have another 15 years ahead of me that would be cool I can shape my life to have meaning and accomplishment perhaps providing others with amusement, spots of levity and information though stories and books I write.
My real concern like many others entering those graying years I worry about issues with my health, my mental state and how will I support myself in my old age.
Health is always a concern since serious physical maladies can pop up at any time without notice.
I worry about falling and breaking something preventing me from getting to the grocery store to feed myself, being able to drive to keep medical appointments and such mundane things I now take for granted.
I worry about my memory failing through Alzheimer’s disease or dementia where I will be lost in a world of fog only occasionally becoming the person I was and then drifting off again in a haze recognizing no one.
I worry about being confined to a hospital bed my muscles atrophying, my movements restricted, being fed through tubes and staying alive by artificial means.
You have things you own, information that is private to you and when you die especially unexpectantly it’s all open for everyone to see. The stuff you own no longer has relevance to anyone in your life and they bag it all up taking it to goodwill, sell off the valuables pocketing the money or using it to cremate you as cheaply as possible because you had no financial reserves.
My social security was never enough to even pay my rent so I had to devise ways to earn what I could through working right to the bitter end.
Doesn’t seem fair does it?
Well death seldom is.
It’s a reality we each face and you truly face death alone since no one can accompany you on that last journey.